Mother's Day: The Women in My Life

Mother's Day in my 65th year. I don't have a mother or a grandmother any more, haven't for years. But women have had a heck of an influence on my life. I quit smoking on Mother's Day more than a decade ago. These are my closest kinswomen, ascendent and descendent. I have been fortunate to have lived at least a time with all these women, including my grandmothers. Perhaps paradoxically, these seven gentlewomen have taught me much about being a man.

Paternal Grandmother. Rose de Lima (Rose "Emma") Goulet. Mother of nine, my Dad in the middle. She passed in her mid-60's in the late 1950's, not too long after this photo was taken. English was a second language for her. We can trace her French heritage back to the mid-1600's in Quebec. She and my grandfather never had a lot of money but raised some exceptional children and did just fine. She was widowed in the mid-1940's.

A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott

Maternal Grandmother. Johanna "Jennie" Frazier. Mother of eleven. My Mother was the youngest. Lived into her very late 90's passing in the late-1960's. Born in Vermont of Irish immigrants. She lived her life on a large farm, and kept house for three bachelor sons into her 90's. Widowed in the mid-40's. Some of my fondest memories are of the farm and summer visits with scores of Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. Double washtubs full of ice-picked block ice with Dad's Root Beer and Nesbitt's Orange. Huge lilac bushes lined a long drive. Cows, horses, pigs, chickens, haylofts, and apple trees.

Grandmas don't just say "that's nice" -- they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money's worth out of grandmas. ~ Author:unknown

Mother. Irene Cecilia Kelly. Mother of four sons. I am the eldest. Full-blooded Irish. She married a man she knew as a teen. She was baptized, married and buried on the grounds of St. Thomas church in a town called Corcoran, as was my father. She passed in her mid-70s, too young in 1986. She was a wonderful cook. She wore what she called a "house dress" as did most of the stay-at-home moms in the neighborhood. She was my confidant late at night after dates and dances in a darkened living room. She'd rock in her chair waiting up for me, mellow music playing on 33-1/3 LP's.

One of her most impressive feats was being a single mother in the early 50's to four boys as her husband spent 18 months in the far east during the Korean War. Sons at the time ranged from a brother born in Dad's absence, age three, four and me at age eight. I was the man of the family.

"Men are what their mothers made them." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wife. The woman stuck in the middle with me. The link between ascendent and descendent, Barbara Ann Olson of Fergus Falls. Of German and Swedish heritage. She married in August 1988, having met her husband a half dozen years before.

I’ve a wife her name Barbara Ann,

I love her, I’m her number one fan,

She gave me daughter,

After I caught her...

Made me not only a Dad but a man. ~Her Husband

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

Eldest Daughter. Kimberly Irene. A Mother herself, both a boy and a girl child had she. She loves animals, gardening, music, loves her job, and could probably tear an engine apart and put it back together. She knows a lot about me. She spent a lot of time with me during my 20's. She's listened to Magical Mystery Tour with head phones.

They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whoever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes or the secrets she keeps. ~Anonymous

Youngest Daughter. Erin Marie. She has a mind of her own, knows what she wants and goes after it. Very much in tune with her blessings. She has found a wonderful vocation and is good at it. She brought me to tears at her wedding when the Father/Bride dance song she chose was one of my favorites. "In My Life".

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I'll love you more ~John Lennon

Granddaughter. Kelly Jean. A neo-hippie. We went to see Barack Obama at Grand Forks together. She protested at the Republican convention in St. Paul and was one of hundreds to get arrested and kept on a bridge for hours. She texted me from time to time keeping me updated on her remonstration. I guess this kind of thing skips a generation. She lives life fully, I want her to be careful and listen to her vibes.

Strawberry creams and wonderful dreams,

Ladylike airs and teddy bears,

Fairy tales and wedding veils,

Thats what granddaughters are made of. ~Unknown

Epilogue

Women surround me. I have ten nieces but one nephew. After being raised with no sisters, I was blessed with a loving Mother, a wonderful wife who I can talk to about anything, and two lovely daughters who have taught me much. I have a granddaughter who pleases me more than she knows.